the adventure began with "the terrible awful" underway... there was therefore no avoiding the turbulence in the open "air" market... nevertheless we sought out to obtain our perfect day in the bottom of a fresh popped kettle corn bag. oh, our sad demise. dog barking from parked car. patio-patrons rubbernecking... apply shock collar to barking dog... set out on foot... sample everything in the market because gabel can not resist... take an orange juice bath whilst offering samples to tyke... feel the "air" begin to set it's highfalutin hippie hands upon me like a dark cloud... clamour for the coveted kettle corn... retrieve size: small bag of corn... leave without change...
overwhelming embarassment severs me... return... wonder why we are eating minuscule bits of cooled corn... wonder more and more... "air" infused with intrusive "i know how to cook kale" superiority encroaching like an anaconda in a powder room... sweating profusely... pretend to peruse the produce... attempt to lift cloud by finding veg for daddy... stumble across Jesus' booth... (dude looks just like him) and his grimy birkenstock feet and grimier "i-just-picked-this- stuff-by-hand-this- morning"-hands are enough to send my market-"air"-paranoia into overdrive... cue the shakes... and local hippies communing over wheat grass convo, trapping me into Jesus' booth...my stroller conjesting matters... fussed over box of butternut squash... head pounding... grab something, anything... if scorpions were the in-thing to grab i would have done it in a heartbeat... got a squash however... panic set in... don't look directly at Jesus... shove him the cash... tunnel vision... knock my popcorn bag... it's raining corn and everyone looks at the putz... gather my change this time... and leave without my squash! "wait" he says... i nearly piss my pants... blubbering... "happens all the time" he recovers for me... and i blazed a trail like no other.
well i wouldn't be completely shown up by that open "air" market... by the time i reached the car i grew a pair... and pulled up on that popcorn booth straight gangster... showed them who was boss... "i'd like a fresh bag of popcorn... whole pieces please."
sidenote: pictured pizza... homegrown tomatoes... the ONLY way to go.
