...the wine-stainer treks into the room carrying a giant tupperware bowl containing one, small, bite-size piece of beef and a measly pile of mashed potatoes. i'll tell you what you do: you instinctively furrow your brow and trek right back from whence the toddler came. there you will find a spotted dog in the process of consuming (and by consuming i mean sucking down whole) an entire 8 inch NY strip steak. you pounce on the dog, yell "drop it" about 58 times to no avail, and proceed to pry open his jaws and pull the darn steak from his gagging throat... (refer to christmas rule #4 of: how to retrieve tinsel from a cat's gullet). once you've got it... you then hold up what's left of the soggy steak, stare at it for a good 10 seconds and wonder "now what the heck do i do with it". (with inflection on the 'now'.) finally you set it on the kitchen counter (out of babe and ravenous-mongrel reach) where the deprived pup can smell it and suffer... some advanced form of disciplinary measures you tell yourself.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN... Part II
...the wine-stainer treks into the room carrying a giant tupperware bowl containing one, small, bite-size piece of beef and a measly pile of mashed potatoes. i'll tell you what you do: you instinctively furrow your brow and trek right back from whence the toddler came. there you will find a spotted dog in the process of consuming (and by consuming i mean sucking down whole) an entire 8 inch NY strip steak. you pounce on the dog, yell "drop it" about 58 times to no avail, and proceed to pry open his jaws and pull the darn steak from his gagging throat... (refer to christmas rule #4 of: how to retrieve tinsel from a cat's gullet). once you've got it... you then hold up what's left of the soggy steak, stare at it for a good 10 seconds and wonder "now what the heck do i do with it". (with inflection on the 'now'.) finally you set it on the kitchen counter (out of babe and ravenous-mongrel reach) where the deprived pup can smell it and suffer... some advanced form of disciplinary measures you tell yourself.
